just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize