Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
