I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
