im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
false alarm, still single
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