When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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