My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
