My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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