I just pynch a tree in the face
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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