I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
