I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
