i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It's blow job season.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
