Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
