I'm so fucking centered right now
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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