I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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