Just cropdusted the office
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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