Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
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New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
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Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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