Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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