oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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