Where are you?
In a non slutty way
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
