it wasn't lemon gatorade
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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