We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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