Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
