omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We left the knife in your bed.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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