Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize