That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
