he thought i was a dude.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
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Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
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An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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