Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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