she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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