Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
