That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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