I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
