Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize