Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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