Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize