I haven't been this sober since birth.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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