One girl and one boy is just not enough.
from now on my penis is your penis
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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