I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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