i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
