I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
