It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
