omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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