If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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