is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
