I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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