there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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