WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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