He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
