This girl is more easily done than said...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
