So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
