Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
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I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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