You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
