whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
