508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
