I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
