I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Screwed.edu
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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