yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
