I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize