i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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