I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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