It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize