this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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