that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
They have beer where we have blood.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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