I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
