i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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